Going on a quest without a map generally means going down dark alleys without a guide, getting lost on dead-end roads, and sometimes driving off the road and into the ditch.  Another risk is drowning in a flood of information and giving up completely.  Another is finding what you think is the grail and clutching it without further thought of any other possibilities.  I’m struggling against all of these risks while I investigate what the heck fibromyalgia really is and what the heck I can do about it.

Mostly I’m going between being overwhelmed with knowing how much I don’t know and thinking I should just quit, and clinging to one theory to the neglect of all other theories.  I admit, I’m a little worried about getting older with fibromyalgia.  This past few years I can really feel the difference – I worry about mobility and cognizance.  It won’t work to get too involved in this quest, though.  I need to maintain some distance to be able to look at all the possibilities out there.  Like I’ve said before, fibromyalgia is a complex problem.  There won’t be a simple solution.  In many ways I have a strong advantage to study fibro: Ignorance.  I don’t know enough to dismiss possibilities out of hand.  That’s a good thing. I have to keep those blinkers and blinders off and look at this with fresh eyes and an open mind.

Yes, I still like the thyroid utilization theory, but I need to find the connection between it and the loss of gray matter, the rheumatoid symptoms, the chemical imbalances, all the things that researchers have pinpointed as characterizing fibromyalgia.  There is no leaping at a solution.  All the studies I read about say “further studies are needed…”  So, in the best research rhetoric:  I like the thyroid utilization theory, but further study is needed, including management of symptoms while this study is being executed.  It’s all going to be okay…..