What’s Worse than Fibro?

A pandemic. Heck yeah. Social distancing. Yep. Coping with a pandemic and social distancing without responsible federal government. Hell yeah. I admit I’ve been torn. Part of me thinks gosh what’s the difference between this and your old-fashioned flu season? I mean it’s been years now that I’ve gotten medication from a doctor for any viral symptoms. It’s always go home and ride it out. Every year people with old-fashioned flu die. Plus we made it through SARS (the first) and H1N1 without society shutting down or hoarding toilet paper. What?

On the other hand, I understand the need to rein in the spread because if all the people who are not immune to the disease (everybody) got sick, then our health care system will crash. I do understand all that. I also understand the illness is devastating for old people or people with compromised immune systems or heart/lung conditions. I have scar tissue in my right lung after my massive pulmonary embolism oh so many years ago which has not resolved, still there. So I need to be careful to not get it, I suppose.

The one thing I do know for certain: social distancing is not good for me. As much as I have a need to isolate and take a break from society and people and stress on a regular basis, I also thrive on contact with people I enjoy, including my coworkers and everyone at work. I don’t like working from home. I don’t like only contacting people through email or texts or Zoom. It’s not good psychologically for me, an admitted introvert. I can’t imagine a genuine extrovert managing this. I am having a certain amount of difficulty with depression as a result of this. Depression and crankiness.

At the same time, I’m sleeping more than six hours a night and my work day has been cut down to literally 9 hours (including an hour lunch break) instead of 12 hours (including drive/bus time). Physically, this is good for me. I’m not pain free. But I am less fatigued by the pain. I could lay down and go back to sleep right this minute, but it would be from depression, not pain. Physically good. I have to remember to be grateful for that. Psychologically challenging. I have to remember to be mindful of that.

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