The Struggle

It’s been a long time since I’ve added anything to this blog. I haven’t given up, and unfortunately I’m not “cured.” I have good days and bad days. I go to work on both and keep moving forward every day. The arthritis in my knees has flared a lot, so I’ve been doing some targeted PT for that. I needed a break from reading medical articles and thinking so much about what is going on in my body. But most of all, I’ve been struggling psychologically. I know I have to take care of myself, but there are so many people in the world suffering so much more than me. My problems (physical, financial, etc) are not even a drop in the ocean. I’ve been fighting with feeling powerless and demoralized by the political scene in America. I’ve been fighting with depression and just wanting to quit…everything. I’ve been fighting to look around myself at the good people I meet every day and to remember who they are and why they are: Who I am and why I am. I’ve been struggling to believe in the future, to believe in the essential goodness of life, the world, and people. I’ve been in search of my own purpose. This blog and the research that has gone into it is important to me, and I will continue to work on it one day. Until then, I’m working on mindfulness, counting my blessings, staying on my feet. It is what it is, and that’s all it can be. Ever forward.

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