Despite feeling not too bad physically, the mind is definitely fighting me back. I’m out of sorts, consistently getting out of the wrong side of the bed, cranky, not feeling like myself. It’s a regular occurrence, shifting moods on a dime. Fortunately, I can go from cranky to laughing as quickly as I can go from laughing to cranky. Fortunately I’m more often in a good mood than a bad mood. My life is good, and I recognize that. I’m grateful for everything I have and am and for all the people around me who support me and let me support them. And then cynicism sets in when I see inconsideration or aggression or just plain rudeness, thus opening the way for crabbiness. And for you people out there snickering about hot flashes – no, that’s not it. Been there, done that. All done with that.
What does my bipolar psych profile have to do with fibromyalgia? I don’t know, but I think it may be time to take a look at the psychological aspects of chronic pain/fibromyalgia. The areas of the brain that are affected by ongoing pain (recognizing the chicken and the egg dilemma) have a lot to do with mood and affect and could be one of the reasons for ongoing problems with depression in people with fibro. There has been a lot written about it, lots of studies, especially with the tendency to chalk up fibro as a psychosomatic disorder rather than a physiological disorder, so there’s plenty of material out there.
I’ve been tracking mood a little bit with the Captain’s Log, but will try to connect better with both symptoms and eating/exercise. I’m off on exercising, so there could be a bit of a connection with that and my recent crankiness. Exercising certainly releases the right chemicals for feeling better psychologically. I have to admit, however, the last several weeks of exercise have not been beneficial psychologically or physically for whatever reason. I’m definitely in a downswing. What’s odd is I’m not feeling that bad from a fibro standpoint. Usually the mood and the pain go hand in hand.
Plan of action: I’ll work on elevating my mood while I track pain to see if my downturned mood upturns pain. At the same time I’ll see if when my mood turns up, if pain downturns. All the while I’ll see if I fall in line with the researchers and what they have to say about it all. My personal theory as always been that pain – chronic relentless pain – is the source of depression in chronic pain patients. We’ll see…