Twenty or so years ago I said something (rather stupidly) about what in the world will 80 years old feel like when I already feel 80 years old? It was a stupid thing to say because I definitely didn’t feel 80 years old twenty years ago. I was just tired, and my joints hurt all the time. Now that my parents have hit their mid-80s, I’m getting a better sense of what 80 might feel like.

I’ve read a couple studies about how people with fibromyalgia age (I’ll try to get them in the bibliography), and the results surprised me. Multiple studies indicated that fibromyalgia symptoms LESSEN with age. I would not have guessed that at all. My own symptoms have increased every year for maybe the last 10 years. This year is no exception. But there is a difference. This year, NON-fibromyalgia issues have overtaken fibromyalgia itself. Since April Fool’s Day, I’ve had ischemic colitis (explained as life-threatening and I’m lucky I didn’t lose part of my colon), endometrial hyperplasia (chronic bleeding for a couple months), good old-fashioned bronchitis w/sinus infection, discovery of (more) colon polyps, and an abnormal mammogram resulting in a biopsy. Four of five were indications of cancer – I have no cancer. I’ve been biopsied right and left, and no cancer. What I did have was a lot of pain, even more excessive fatigue, and for the first time EVER a doctor saying, “Of course you’re tired, you’ve gone through a lot. Just rest and recover.”

Now that I’ve rested and recovered from all that other, “real” stuff, fibro is back to filling in the pain/fatigue gap left with the departure of “normal” ailments. So maybe getting old with fibromyalgia doesn’t necessarily mean relief from fibromyalgia but that other things (worse things) take over the fibro role. Since fibro is really “nothing” (pain with no purpose), it can blend easily in with pain with a purpose. It also adds to the burden of the pain since our brains perceive pain (with or without purpose) differently (more intensely) than “normal” people.

I have to use my parents to decide what 80 really feels like. My 85-year-old mom is chronically healthy, a bit like Wolverine in healing abilities, but lately she’s complaining… Lifting her arm straight up over her head, she complains that her shoulder aches when she does that. Neuropathy in her feet, burning and aching. She complains that she goes to sleep tired and wakes up unrefreshed. A knee that has slowed her down a lot from walking the two miles a day she’s used to walking. Pain in her hands… I listen sympathetically, yet realize, “Wait, those are exactly the things I’ve complained about since I was about 15.” So maybe I HAVE felt 80 years old for the last 47 years?